Puerto Rico Part 1 - Poofter Palace and Vieques Island

Took the red eye to San Juan last Thursday night. One cool thing about traveling with JP is that he's VIP all the way. Oh yeah, did I mention I went with JP? Come on, you're not that surprised, are you?

Anyhow, he had a conference in San Juan and it was his birthday so he invited me along. So on this trip we had two layovers - one in Miami and one in San Juan. I got to learn about the secret society of the Admiral's Club - one of those VIP rooms at airports that you see businessmen going in and out of all the time. Well, let me tell you, they are quite nice. They have an open bar, free munchies - or should I say hors d'ouvres? Like cheese and crackers and wine and stuff. And there is privacy and clean bathrooms with showers and towels and all the fixings. Makes for a nice way to spend your layover, complete with free beer.

After lounging in the Admiral's Club, we hopped on a puddle jumper over to Vieques Island, the place the Navy used to practice bombing at and that got all the hippies in an uproar a while back. The Navy stopped bombing and donated the land to the Fish & Wildlife so now half the island (21 miles by 4 miles in toto) is a pristine park and one of the last places you can fine unresorted-up white sand beaches in the Carribean.

JP had made all the arrangements and found us a place in Isabela - the largest town on the island. I was expecting some sort of hoity toity resort because that's the kind of guy he is. Instead, he thought of me for once and found a loft above a bar/coffee shop/inn in the heart of town. It's called Hotel Atlantico and is owned by a nice guy named David from Atlanta who met us at the door and carried our bags up the spiral staircase. I noticed a lot of nice looking men in the coffee shop and figured it must just be a hang out for well-groomed American men. We went up to our loft to find an awesome and well-decorated flat, complete with a huge balcony and views of the ocean from every angle. I looked over the front of the balcony and noticed the flags out front - U.S., Puerto Rico...and Rainbow.
I'm no expert at these things but I'm pretty sure the rainbow flag signifies tolerance of all lifestyles. Or that Rainbow Bright lives there.Click here for Wikpedia's definition and a history of the rainbow flag.

Sure enough, when we went downstairs for a beer that night it was indeed a hotbed of muscle shirts and loose swaggers. I got a good laugh out of this because JP is a raging homophobe. We dubbed the place the "Pink Poofter Palace" and had a blast with our new found friends who diplomatically told us they "cater to the dollar first". Definition of poofter.

The coolest thing about the hotel was definitely the dual-headed outdoor shower. There is nothing like taking a shower under the Carribean sun while looking out over the ocean. You should try it sometime.Anyhow, I highly recommend renting the loft at Hotel Atlantico if ever you are in Vieques and want an awesome place to stay that is both well decorated and friendly to all.

We had rented a Jeep (necessary on the island if you want to go anywhere) and headed to the south side to go see the bioluminescent bays. This consisted of riding in an old school bus down a dark dirt road to a little dock in the middle of the night, then taking an electric boat out on a bay and going swimming with about 40 other people. Bioluminescence is WAY COOL. It's like swimming on acid - without the acid. I mean, I imagine that's what it's like since we know I'd never do anything like that. Anyhow, I couldn't take pictures because you need special equipment to capture glow-in-the-dark.

The bioluminescense is caused by dinoflagellates - tiny fireflies of the ocean - that glow when you stir the water. There is no easy way to describe it so I would suggest going to see it - especially if you have kids who we all know love stuff that glows. And don't bother going if you're not going to swim - some folks on the boat didn't want to mess up their hair. Note to tourists: There will be hair spray long after the dinoflagellates are gone. Anyhow, Puerto Rico has three of the best bioluminescent bays in the world and I would say they'll be dimmed within a decade due to pollution so go soon.

The next day we took the Jeep over to Esperanza - the tourist side of the island - to do some snorkeling. We found a dirt road and followed it to the end where we found ourselves alone (but for the boat that left by afternoon) on this beach:The water was warm, there was a reef nearby, and clothing was not an option. Yes, that was a nice day.

Later we headed back to town for some food and found ourselves lounging on a dock, listening to a band, watching this sunset:All in all, Vieques was pretty cool. Between the bioluminescence, having a cove on the Carribean to ourselves, and staying at the Poofter Palace, it was a unique experience. So if you're ever in Puerto Rico, leave the tourist area and hop on a flight or ferry over to Vieques before it gets overrun with Spring Breakers and tourists.