"WTF?" 101

I know, I know, I've been neglecting you lately. But I have a good excuse this time...I've been busy packing because, you know, I have to move. And not just move, but CHANGE MY WHOLE FRICKIN' LIFE next week.

Yeah, I say a big, fat Holy Cow to that one too. That's also about when I start thinking, "What the f*** am I doing?"

I think there are about three basic types of self-conscious "WTF?'s" we go through in life. (The others are all just third party "WTF?"s where we're wondering WTF someone else was thinking and those don't really count in this discussion.)

The first is the "WTF?" you feel when, say, you wake up on St. Patrick's Day in the cab of your truck wearing a Santa hat and gardening gloves and wonder "WTF did I do to end up here?" Then you laugh at yourself, curse for not getting some passer-by to take a digital photo of you looking so ridiculous, and make a note to tell your friends what they missed so they can make fun of you for a couple of years. This is the post-stupid-behavior "WTF?" that hopefully leads to reflection and self-awareness.

The second is the kind I think a few of my blogging buddies, Buzz, Melon, and Spotty, are facing these days. This type of "WTF?" is the overthought meaning of life WTF? and it seems to be the plight of every single, career-minded, rut-stuck, above-normal-intelligence-level individual I know. You see, once you've achieved a certain level of success, you are finally comfortable and living like an adult, you've got no boundaries, no rules, no constraints, yet you feel like you should be doing more, better, different...just doing something other than going to work, meeting friends for beers and sushi, and then heading home to watch TV with your cat on your lap or sitting next to the invisible significant other you no longer love while chatting on the phone long distance with your old friends who are now married and envying you for your independence and freedom. Then you go to bed, get up and do the very same thing the next day and in your quiet time you wonder "WTF?". But this "WTF?" is the one that asks why you're not moving at all. This is the "WTF?" I was feeling a few months ago when I decided to sell the house and get moving...literally.

The third is like the "WTF?" I felt when I found myself at age 17 marching around Orlando, Florida in the heat of July, being yelled at by a drill instructor named Drummond who had just told us our sissy arses would all be going to war in a desert in the Middle East, feeling like I'd just made the worst decision of my life. It's the pit-of-your-stomach-venturing-into-into-the-unknown kind of "WTF?" that makes you question why you are where you are and wonder how it will turn out because you're already in the middle of a wild ride and someone else seems to be at the wheel. You can't really change it because the ball is in motion, so you've got to deal with it. That's the "WTF?" I'm feeling this week, as I'm in the middle of leaving my home of eight years, moving away from all my friends, and quitting a decent job to move to a small town where I don't know anyone, have no plans for employment and am told the dating pool consists of 18 single men, three of which are in the closet and 14 of which are absolutely dysfunctional, and one of whom has a poo bag. I don't know where it'll lead, but I know it will be somewhere new.

I guess the point of this post is that life is one big "WTF?" and each of use has to decide which "WTF?" we're most comfortable living with. After all, the minute we cease having "WTF?" moments we're either happy, content, bored, or dead.

MB - I'll say it before you, WTF is up with this post?