Gone fishing

Headed to Vegas for the weekend.

Friday night was pretty much your typical old town Vegas debacle: money lost, money won, a really bad impressionist show (Larry G Jones - do not pay money to see the guy), and talking with showgirls and circus freaks at 3 am on Fremont Street.

Turns out they weren't showgirls and circus freaks - they were burlesque dancers in town for the Miss Exotic World 2006 Competition. Through the blur of things MM and I managed to remember meeting them and where the show was on Saturday so we went. Here's a picture of MM with a couple of the girls:MM and I were the only two in our group to go. The boys do not know what they missed: talented women (you should've seen what they did with a hula hoop!) dancing and doing provocative old school burleque performances, tassles twirling, innuendoes flying, and an enthralled crowd having an absolute blast. Each performer did about a 3 minute performance and they were judged on something or other. We stayed for about four hours (it went on for eight) and it felt like we'd only been there an hour. Oh, and the hosts, Margaret Cho, who is hilarious, and El Vez were great. I was so impressed, I think I signed up to compete in 2007. At the very least I will definitely attend next year.

Now here's the funny part of the story. I am a little embarrassed but it's too good not to share:

I made the fatal mistake of deciding to drink vodka and cranberry juice at the show. I don't know why I did this because everyone knows I'm a puker when it comes to hard liquor. But I didn't want beer and I couldn't be sober in Vegas for more than 12 hours, right? Add to that the fact that I've pretty much been on the wagon since I moved and it's a recipe for disaster.

So about five vodka cranberries in I felt the wave of nausea come over me. I made a dash to the bathroom, found a stall, and hurled. Problem was, MB wasn't there to hold my hair, so I had to hold it myself. In holding my hair back my sunglasses somehow fell off my head and right into the toilet. That's right, in the vomit. And they are the kind that float. In a moment of clarity which only vodka can induce I decided to just flush them with the vomit. They didn't go down the drain, they just swirled and floated. About then I realized I needed to pee too so I peed on my already vomited-upon sunglasses that were still floating and flushed again. They were still there, floating in the bowl. I don't usually litter but I couldn't bring myself to fish my puked and peed upon glasses out of a public toilet so I left them in there and walked out nonchalantly. About 30 seconds later a lady called out, "Miss, I think you left your glasses". I turned to see her outstretched hand grasping the dripping glasses and said, "Oh, those aren't mine" and walked out.

I don't know about you, but I would never put my hand in a toilet to fish out someone's sunglasses. I imagine some poor soul kept them and was wearing them at some pool on Sunday.

I felt much better after the purge, drank about a gallon of water, and stumbled around town for a few more hours with MM and the boys. Got back to our room at about 4 am and for some reason we ordered about three racks of BBQ ribs from room service. We ate them all. Then I knocked the room service cart over while trying to wheel it out and we realized that two people had just eat about three pigs' worth of ribs and the carnage was splayed about the hall of the Golden Nugget. For some unknown reason we found this hilarious and laughed in the hall for about 20 minutes, so this pic's for MM:Made the long drive home Sunday afternoon and once again vowed, "never again".