Nevermore

I've got a crow problem. Not just a problem, I'm talking about an infestation. Seriously, lately I've felt like Tippi Hedren whenever I have to make a dash for my truck as the birds divebomb and attack me. Every morning I awaken to the less-than-melodious cawing of a murder of crows (It's not a flock, it's a murder). Add to that the fact that they constantly swarm the ducks and steal their eggs and it's a nuisance.

We all know I'm an animal lover, but every lover has her limit and mine was reached last week when I awoke to about 20 crows loitering in my front yard, just daring me to attempt to dash to the barn to do my morning feeding run. Enough was enough so I grabbed my .38 and fired a warning shot (this is safe as I can't see any neighbors). Not surprisingly, the crows fled like the little varmints they are. Yes, I'll admit I felt a little insane as the shot rang out and I saw myself standing in the yard ina robe with a pistol as crows fled. As I've said before, things have changed...

As tempting as it was, I realized it wasn't feasible to sit on my porch with a .38 shooting away at crows all day. I would need earplugs if I were to do that. Besides, if I actually hit one it would explode leaving me a mess.

Not wanting to be the crazy pig/cat/duck/handgun-toting lady of the mountain, I went online and googled "How to get rid of crows". I didn't find much other than suggestions to destroy the nest and possibly put poison out. With all my beasts poison was out of the question. And with all the trees here I figured they'd just nest somewhere else. Then I found Crow Busters, a website dedicated to crow hunting and gourmet crow cuisine such as pan fried crow, crow casserol, creole crow, and my favorite, The "So good you'll want to slap your mother-in-law" Recipe. Although running around in camoflauge with a shotgun shooting scavenger birds sounded tempting, I decided I don't want to go killing anything, rather just give them a flesh wound and scare them off to a neighbor's house. And I didn't want to be unfair about it or go trying to massacre a bunch of birds with scattered shots, so I opted to head to the Big K add a couple of smaller items to my crazy anti-crow lady arsenal:
Yesterday I used the slingshot and realized it takes a bit of skill and a lot of small, rounded rocks, which I've begun collected in a cup that I keep near the slingshot by the door. Note that this is good practice for when I get picked for Survivor.

This morning I got up and used the pellet gun. The problem with a pellet gun is that once you've fired a bigger caliber weapon, it just isn't that satisfying. It's like going from batteries to manual after a long stint of celibacy. It did, however, work to chase the crows off. It's been a couple of hours and they aren't back yet. I even hear some smaller songbirds in the yard, which the crows had been attacking and eating. Yes, life is good.