Mommas, don't let your babies grow up to be...

Here's a sentence I never thought I'd utter:

"I worked the ticket booth at the local rodeo this weekend."

Yep, a couple of the girls from the old softball team are fully ensconced in the world of small town rodeo and, seeing as how I'm single and work for myself, figured I would have nothing better to do with my Saturday afternoon than sit in a booth selling tickets to Wrangler-clad persons in large hats. So I rode my little Chinese scooter down to the rodeo grounds, was teased about bull riding or something, and spent a few hours taking hard earned dollars from folks who wanted to pay to watch people wrestle animals.

Now, I had never been to a rodeo before but I had ridden a mechanical bull or two after a few shots of whatever the guy with the booze bandolier was toting at the time. A mechanical bull surrounded by padding is one thing, a bull that's been hauled to some po-dunk town to have a man strapped to him for 8 seconds and then be taunted by a clown while two-legged Coors Light soaked creatures cheering him on to maul the poor bastard is another.

I was secretly rooting for the animals and, much to my enjoyment, the beasts beat the men almost every time. In fact, I am told it was a lesser rodeo and that the cowboys weren't of the highest caliber because the prize purse was too low or some other excuse like that. Regardless, I watched and was amused at how many people actually came out to this sort of event.

I would've taken pictures of the bull riding but I had my digital camera and, I kid you not, the cowboys couldn't maintain for more than a second out of the gate. So all I got were a couple of shots of the only ladies' event: barrel racing. That's where a woman on a big horse sprints out of a gate and around three barrels then back across a finish line. It lasts about 17 - 19 seconds and a lot of dust is kicked up while the women hold on for dear life. Yep, another sport that makes complete sense. Anyhow, I think this was the winner on her way back to the finish:No, it doesn't look comfortable to me either.

The other big thing at the rodeo was the crowning of the illustrious "Rodeo Queen". Only problem was that this year there was only one contestant. No one even cheered as she was crowned. Maybe I'll enter next year. It appears all you have to do is wear a silly costume with glitter and ride around an arena with a flag then spend all year telling people you are the Tehachapi Rodeo Queen so you get invited to things like grand openings and Kiwanis events.

Finally, as the daughter of ranchers I was reminded how truly strange some women can be with their horses. I'll be the first to admit a nice ride can be quite pleasurable with the right saddle and gait, but I'm referring to the horsewomen who take it a step further...You know the ones I'm talking about - the ones that seem to be having affairs with their horses. They start to look all horsey and equine, even carry the feint scent of a stall around with them, and have this bizarre sexuality connected only to a gelded quarterhorse. Yeah, those girls. Rodeos are full of them. And men in Wranglers. Wrangler butts do nothing for me. And those stupid belt buckles drive me nuts. Add to that the inexplicable use of plaid on everything and it's just plain bad.

Enough on that, here's a picture of my favorite barrel racer - I think she did the whole thing with her eyes shut! (Click to enlarge)I'm off to Texas to pick up a white camel with my mom this week. If that doesn't provide some blog fodder I'm giving up.