SEEING RED

Finally recovering after heading to San Diego for the annual RED DRESS RUN this past weekend. Imagine approximately 2,000 men and women donning red dresses run through the streets of San Diego drinking beer, blowing whistles, and breaking heels. My memory is vague as I began drinking beer while dressing for the run. I opted for a red teddy with matching thong and running shoes, of course. Then it was off to the main cruise ship terminal to join the mass of red. It's all a blur after that. There was dancing and debauchery and I believe I urinated on a tree while standing up. Yet another hidden talent I have...

The next morning was a rough one. Had to be on the bus to Mexico by noon. How can people drink beer that early? Five bus loads of recovering red dressers were heading ot Rosarito Beach for Mexican Mardi Gras. The buses had ratings taped to the sides...there was the Naked Bus, and then the respective X, R and PG buses. I ended up on the PG bus because I was late to arrive at the terminal. And yes, you were required to be naked on the naked bus. I pity the next bus tour's passengers...

Mexican Mardi Gras consists of running through and around Rosarito Beach blowing whistles and drinking beer during the day then donning costumes and doing a pub crawl at night. I was an S&M woman, complete with leather dress, combat boots, riding crop, handcuffs, dog collar and leash. Many compliments. I must admit I was chained to more than one man throughout the evening. There was much dancing and I was fortunate enough to run into my legal secretary in a bar downtown. What are the odds of running into your secretary while in costume in Mexico. She was frightened and hasn't shown up to work since...Hmmm...The next day was more running, more beer, and more debauchery. We piled into the buses for the ride back to San Diego and then I carpooled back to Ventura County with G. What a weekend.

I'm going to have to edit this post later as it is getting too long and even I am getting bored with it. Ugh.

HOKEY POKEY

It is with great sorrow I report that LARRY LA PRISE died last week. You may not know his name but you surely know his work...he wrote the HOKEY POKEY.

This is of great significance to me because I believe I introduced the Hokey Pokey to southern China several years ago. One day while riding my bicycle in Nanning I stumbled upon a roller skating rink. I was drawn by the sounds of none other than the Hokey Pokey. As I peered in I saw the skaters merely circling the rink as old Larry's tune instructed them to put their right arm in. I promptly paid the price of admission and attempted to teach the skaters the proper way to Hokey Pokey. Having determined I was insane because I wanted him to replay the song while I waved my limbs and turned-myself-about, the proprieter of the rink promptly contacted the local authorities. Of course, the local media soon followed. It was quite the spectacle. Eventually everyone realized I was only trying to teach the great American dance known as the Hokey Pokey. By nightfall the rink was packed to capacity with skaters doing the Hokey Pokey. It made the evening news and I was billed as a modern dancer from America in town to teach native dance techniques. So thank you Larry La Prise for leaving me with a great story for my grandkids (no mom, I'm not pregnant...).