Yes I'm bitter because the annual Thanksgiving standoff has resulted in my need-to-please-the-family-to-compensate-for-my-loser-brother-whose-trial-is-in-two-weeks taking over my sense of reason and making me volunteer to cook tomorrow. Damn my aunt who can't cook all to hell for not stepping up again.
So last night as I was considering what to cook for just six people (we know my bro and the crank skank wouldn't dare show up), I decided turkey is out because, well, in my humble opinion, turkey just isn't that great. The only thing it has going for it is that it's big, dumb and slow and the pilgrims were able to catch it easily. I'm surprised grouse isn't the annual feast bird out west. It's not especially flavorful. Nine times out of ten it's dry. It's a bitch to carve. My dog is allergic to it. And, worst of all, it results in mandatory turkey-based meals involving stale rolls and can-molded cranberries for the first two weeks of December each year. If turkey were as great as we pretend it is for that one day a year, it would be more common in restaurants and frozen meals - wouldn't it?
I thought about cooking cornish game hens to try to keep with some semblance of tradition. Then I realized I don't want to cook game hens, stuffing, mashed potatoes, yams, and all that other stuff you only eat once a year because I'll be stuck with the leftovers. So I decided on an alternate menu that includes some of the family's favorites and will all be consumed in one sitting:
Oysters Rockefeller (dad's fav)
Prosciutto wrapped asparagus (mom's fav)
Crab cakes with secret homemade remoulade sauce (everyone's fav)
Filet of sole stuffed with cajun rock shrimp and crab meat (it's good)
Steamed veggies (for health reasons)
Rice pilaf (for my aunt who will complain if there's no rice or potatoes)
Boston Cream Pie (my fav)
The good thing about this menu , other than that it's all tasty, is that I doubt there will be a rush on any of the items at the grocery store since everyone else will be scrambling for Mrs. Cubbison's dressing mix, cheap turkeys, sweet potatoes, and pumpkin pie.
And whoever complains first about the lack of Thanksgiving fare (taht's you aunt P, oh, wait, you don't read...) gets to cook next year.
Enjoy your turkeys.
Yes, I know this post sucks but I haven't been out with any overweight militants in at least three days.
2 comments:
How dare you dis Thanksgiving like dat! This is my favorite holiday to cook for.
I make the best cornbread & wild rice stuffing, ask any of the 15 guests from last year. Also make a delicious sweet potato cassorale w/candied peacans and this year with Molokai Purple sweet potatoes. My cranberry sauce is homemade and the best for left overs. Who could dis mashed potatoes? I'm astonished by your post. Come over to my place next year for Thanksgiving. I plan to deep fry a Turkey on the beach.
You hit it right on! Turkey isn't that great. You're point about turkey and its ubiquity in restaurants is a point I commonly make. When I'm hungry and want to eat something really good, I think Mexican, Italian, or steak. I never crave turkey.
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