Got back from Idaho yesterday. Seems like I was away forever. I guess hanging around sick, old, tired, selfish, and stupid people takes its toll. Add to that two hysterical sisters at odds (mom and aunt), a convicted rapist (uncle) being the only person able to help bathe my grandfather, and a couple of Idaho's finest illegitimates running around making more noise than I knew was humanly possible and you get a pretty crazy environment.Things were pretty stressful so I decided to pick up a bottle of wine while I was in town one day. I returned to my grandparents' house to learn they didn't own a corkscrew because they believed all wine came in boxes or with screw caps. Resourceful gal that I am, I enlisted the help of my cousin's son and taught him how trailer trash opens corked wine:
He's a quick learner despite the inbreeding and was quite proud when he got the cork out. I let him keep it as a souvenir of the good life. A boy's first use of a power tool in conjunction with booze is always a special day in the trailer park. 
Once I was sufficiently buzzed, my aunt gave me my Christmas present. It was just what I'd been hoping for, a solar garden fairy: 
I too was suprised to learn that my family knows me so well. My aunt determined that because my cousin (whose illegitimate son is shown with the drill and wine) likes cheap fairy paraphenalia it stands to reason that I would too because, you know, we're all so much alike. I always wondered who bought these things and it does kind of make sense that someone who lives in a trailer park would want to decorate with eco-groovy fairy lights. I still maintain that I was switched at birth.
1 comment:
Turning Leaf? And you accuse yourself of being from the trailer park?
Now, if it was Strawberry Hill it would have been more convincing.
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