The Incredible Expanding Woman

Spoke with MB the other day and he begged for a recent picture of my ever-expanding self. Ever one to please, I asked Q to take one last weekend. I handed him the camera and he took this one of me from behind. He's romantic like that.
You can hardly tell I'm pregnant, right? Some might even think, "Wow, nice arse." Then I turn to the side and people flee at the sight of The Great Pumpkin:
I don't know what's up with my hair, either. I got it cut - a phenomenon among preggos - we feel ugly so we go do something like lop off our locks so we can go home and cry about it to our bewildered spouses. Then we put our feet up and eat ice cream while lamenting the loss of hair. I believe it was BH who once asked what a cankle is. This, my friends, is a cankle:
I actually think it may be a thankle on some days. Note the crease in skin and severe ankle bulge. I can no longer wear anything but men's extra-wide flip flops, and those sometimes leave an indentation. In fact, if you push on my foot you leave a fingerprint. Still, I'd rather have the cankles than the hemorrhoids that most preggos get.

Finally, yes, that is Midge in the background. I'm having a hard time parting with her. Interested callers are treated rudely and not even allowed to come see her as I decide they are not worthy for some reason or other. As Q says, we can just disconnect the battery, cover her up in the barn, and run her once a month until we decide what to do. Sounds good to me.

Bye the way, Lentil is due in about a month!!!

Lentil Bean is Growing Up

The kid's been bugging me about this for weeks. I figure with six weeks until Lentil emerges, he/she was ready for his/her own blog. Some of you may think it's too early, but we are progressive parents...

In other news, that's right - only six weeks until the arrival. I'm glad because this whole being preggo thing is getting old. I'm fat, tired, haven't seen certain body parts in months, and am just plain tired of sucking down Tums like I used to drink Murphy's. If you want to experience pregnancy for a day I suggest strapping a 30 pound medicine ball to your belly, eating something that brings on killer acid reflux, ingesting as much salt as possible so as to have cankles so huge you can leave a finger indentation in them (Q's favorite party trick), then trying to sleep that way. Be sure to have to wake up every two hours to pee or roll that lump over to the other side because your hips hurt. For added effect, turn off your AC or turn your heater up to 98 degrees - the temperature that it always feels like no matter where you are.

Not that I'm complaining...I'm actually very excited to meet Lentil and have a little discussion about the appropriateness of sticking one's feet in another person's ribs or punching them in the bladder.