Tequila, dehydration, and culos galore

Woke up Sunday morning to the sound of the ocean, mouth tasting like it was full of cotton balls, stumbled out of a stranger's tent, noted the near-empty Casadores bottle nearby, hobbled over a rock or two, and saw this:

My good friends B and J, who normally camp at the lake near my house, had called to invite me out to Faria Beach for dinner. They were camping with T and R and had prime oceanside spots but one thing was missing - me. Ever since they have been RVing together I have joined them on Saturday nights for their BBQ and beer party and they missed the entertainment. The thing is, the lake is 2 miles from my house, the beach is 15. Add to that the fact that they had three bottles of tequila waiting for me and you can understand why I woke up in a tent in need of hydration.

So there I was, at sunrise, alone on the beautiful beach. Dolphins were passing by and the tide was low so I grabbed my camera and went to explore the tidepools. It was so peaceful and there were tons of starfish out in various shades of orange and red, snugly attached to the rocks. Here's a picture of all the fat, dumb, and happy starfish at low tide:


I had never seen so many starfish on our beaches before and was quietly enjoying them as the other campers slept in. Unfortunately, my peace and communion with nature was soon disturbed by two other early risers - poorly dressed, chubby teenaged girls, no less. I said hello and went the other way up the beach. When I turned to come back I saw the little v-string wearing murderers prying starfish off the rocks:

They had soon collected a few starfish, taken them up the beach, and splayed them out upside-down to die of dehydration in the early morning hours. Note the tips of some of the tentacles are missing, evidence of the fish clinging for life as the evil girls pulled them from their rocks.

I went right up to where they were gleefully watching the starfish squirm in their final moments, snapped a photo, pointed at a moving tentacle, said "Look, that one is trying to live", gave each girl the mother-nature-curses-you look, and walked away. They expressed a brief moment of horror wherein I like to think the ounce of humanity left in their MTV-polluted souls told them to put the starfish back in the water. I thought I had succeeded in saving the poor fish but then saw them fleeing the scene, back to the safety of their parents' $45,000 home-away-from-home, half-dead starfish in hand, no doubt talking about the crazy booze-scented bitch on the beach with the camera.

At least they didn't take any anenomes, or culos (Spanish for butthole). This one was pretty cool, and does look like a culo, or Mick Jagger's lips: