Get your salt shaker out

Alrighty folks, I understand that many of you live for this blog. You idolize me and my adventures and take everything written here as the gospel and without the grain of salt it needs. I get it and I love you too. Unfortunately, this blog is not my life - it's a series of small, sometimes embellished (okay, often embellished) snippets I sneak in between billing various clients extraordinary amounts of money for my opinion. I do it for fun because I like to write and it provides a nice venue for venting about life.

That said, I understand that some of you have sent e-mails to MB telling him off for allegedly pissing me off. I appreciate your concern and protectiveness. It even makes me feel kinda special. And if ever I'm in a dark alley and a man pops out of the shadows I want you there to save me. But, let's face it, it's MB and he's my homey. Just look at this picture of him in his very own Oak View hat:Yeah, it's blurry - just like my vision was the morning I took it. To make things clear to those concerned, MB and I are great friends as we shall remain until we get married, determine it was a horrific mistake, go through a bitter divorce where he takes me for all my trailers, blows the money in the stock market, and is later found roaming the streets of Tehachapi muttering "Glib Gal..." while clutching a bottle of half-frozen Ouzo and wondering how he ended up with a colostomy bag and stupid Oak View hat. In the meantime I'll have finally been picked for Survivor, won the million dollars and be travelling around the world collecting a man in every port until I fall in love with a surly Columbian drug lord and am later arrested while flying a load of coke that I innocently believe to be coffee beans to Miami. I'll end up in prison in Bakersfield and MB will be the only person to visit. So you see folks, embellished or not, MB and I are destined to remain friends.

Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to blogging about more important things, like my infatuation with a certain cowboy...