CATWOMAN

Seeing all the promos for the new Catwoman this week reminded me of my own unique experience (at least I hope not many girls had to go through this!) while I was in college at HSU...

Being a typical undergrad I had a crush on my scruffy, intellectual, not-yet-tenured-because-he-was-too-recalcitrant philosophy teacher. He was a typical philosopher - he drank, smoked and partook in certain other less-than-legal substances. The crush was derived from the combination of his roguishness, a missing finger and the scent of Obsession that wafted my way as he passed my desk during lectures. I'll just refer to him as A and admit it was a phase I was going through and haven't revisted...

Stellar student (and cute blonde?) that I am, I somehow managed to attract A's attention in class. One day after class he mentioned that he would be hanging out at Jambalaya downtown to listen to some blues that night. I took this as an invite and showed up. We ended up dancing and having a blast. One thing led to another and, needless to say, a relationship (and an A in philosophy) ensued.

Early on in the relationship I learned that A's wife had died and he was somewhat obsessed with her. I also found that my resemblance to her was nothing less than freakish. Also freakish was a fetish of A's that I was soon introduced to...

It began innocently enough, he asked me to wear some of the wife's lingerie. Being open-minded and eager to please, I complied. The next week he brought home more racy lingerie. The next it was a school girl outfit, followed by a Little Bo Peep outfit (ironic since my parents are ranchers with sheep), cheerleader outfit, and even a request for my Navy dress whites. With each outfit I would be expected to be in character upon arrival. I'll admit I found it a bit disturbing as he would also assume a role - teacher, big bad wolf, football player, commanding officer, etc. After each session I would return home to tell my roommates of the latest activity. I admit that near the end I was only continuing to see A so I would have great stories to tell my friends the next day. It was actually more entertaining to them than me.

Everyone has their limits, even me. The final straw occurred on a rainy Saturday night that I still remember as if it were yesterdat. I arrived at A's as usual. The house was pretty dark. Downstairs in the extra bedroom was my attire for the night - none other than a CATWOMAN outfit - leotard, ears, tail, the whole works. I donned my outfit and applied some whiskers reluctantly, not quite knowing how to get into character for this one. I went upstairs where A was waiting. He asked me to get on the bed like a good kitty. I was perched on the bed on all fours when he began petting me and rubbing behind my ears. I was doing all I could to hold back my laughter when he suddenly said, "Meow for me little kitty." I couldn't take it. I rolled over convulsing in laughter. He was so serious, telling me I wasn't acting like a kitty at all. It just made me laugh more. Once I was partially composed I went home, in my catwoman suit for my roommates to see. We all about died laughing that night and still have the code of "Meow for me" when we talk on the phone. You can bet I'll be at the movies to see how Halle Berry pulls off her Catwoman gig...