Mrs. Sanders

About a month ago I finally figured out why Survivor still hasn't chosen me as a contestant...I forgot that I used up my 15 minutes of fame in China 10 years ago.

Last month I was in a deposition in LA. My client was being deposed and she didn't speak English so the defendants had to hire a Mandarin interpreter. This makes the whole process twice as long and especially annoying when you understand everything in both languages and sometimes catch the interpreter making mistakes due to regional variations in the language. The interpreter was a nice guy, Mormon who did his mission in China and picked up the language, and a wife, there. It had to be funny for the actual Chinese people present to watch two white people argue over the meaning of the words "lao bai".

Anyhow, it was an all-day affair and at the lunch break the interpreter approached me and said I looked very familiar and asked if we had worked together before. There aren't many Caucasian folks who a.) speak Mandarin and b.) work in the legal field so I knew I would have remembered him and I didn't. Besides, people often think they recognize me and I am fairly certain they don't. So I said he must be confusing me with someone else. At the next break he again tried to place me but couldn't. I could tell he was certain he'd seen me before but I honestly couldn't place him. Then, after the deposition we were in the elevator and he blurts out "You're the girl from Meiguo Tza Chi!"

That translates to "American Fried Chicken". Yes, it is true, I once did a television commercial for a small restaurant chain in southern China - American Fried Chicken (AFC). The translator had apparantly seen me on TV in China touting the tastiness of the American-style fare offered at the restaurant. I felt a combination of flattery - that I still am recognizable from when I was 22 - and embarassment - that I am known as the Chinese fried chicken girl. The translator then told me he'd not only seen me on TV but also on billboards as recently as three years ago.

I was lured into my acting career by promises of jack cheese and Guinness beer. AFC was owned by a sly Vietnamese man aptly named Charlie (I don't think he got it) who had been to the U.S., fallen in love with the colonel's special recipe, and decided southern China was ripe for it's own chain of fried chicken restaurants.

I found AFC while on one of my infamous bicycle rides through Nanning. Oddly enough, the restaurant had a giant Bob's Big Boy statue holding a platter of burgers in front. I couldn't resist exploring the place so I immediately parked my bike and went in. I ordered a burger and fries. They were horrible but it was the closest thing to home cooking I had eaten in months. I started going to AFC regularly and taught them how to cook more "American-style". Charlie and I became friends and he even offered to marry me in exchange for a whopping $20,000 a year for two years. I declined but probably would have said yes if he had promised to open a cheese factory for me...

You see, along with introducing the Hokey Pokey to China, I believe I also introduced the grilled cheese sandwich when Charlie got a brick of Jack Cheese in from Australia. The grilled cheese sandwich is one of the most overlooked culinary delights and I immediately commandeered the cheese and fried up a sandwich. It was pure heaven and I was in ecstasy the moment I had my first crunchy-melty bite.

Charlie, ever the capitalist, saw the effect the cheese had on me and decided mine was the look he wanted for his upcoming advertising campaign. In exchange for a young, blond, genuine American girl writhing at the thought of AFC and saying things like "AFC is soooo good" and "mmmmm..." while eating various dishes, I would receive all the AFC food I could eat and two cases of Guinness beer in the cans that stay fresh. At 22 and in another land it seemed like a great deal to me.

Fast forward 10 years and I had pretty much forgotten about the commercial. I certainly never would have guessed I'd be recognized while at a meeting on the 39th Floor of a high-rise in Los Angeles. Then again, 10 years ago I never would have guessed I'd be in a high-rise in Los Angeles remembering the simple days of grilled cheese and Guinness. You can probably guess what I'll be having for dinner tonight.