Things to do before you're 32

On the eve of my 32nd birthday I am reminded once again of my infamous internet dating days and one 32 year-old I will never forget...Nate.

I met Nate through American Singles a few years ago. He was a local out-of-work history teacher working at Best Buy until he could get something more permanent. Age 32, he lived in a small apartment with his pet cat that he had taught to play fetch. He had some confidence issues but seemed like a nice enough guy. We somehow came up as matches through the internet, probably due to our mutual interest in surf kayaking. We e-mailed back and forth a few times, exchanged photos and phone calls and decided to meet one Saturday at his parents' beach house for a day of surf kayaking. They had a house right on Feria Beach, which is perfect for surf kayaking. Kayaking is really a perfect first date because you are both having fun, you are in swimsuits, the adrenaline is rushing, and you can't help but laugh at eachother when you wipe out. After kayaking to the point of exhaustion we had a soda up at the house with his dad and were hanging out on the deck talking when his brother and some other friends showed up. The date was going well enough and it seemed like a nice, normal group so when they invited me to stay for a BBQ I couldn't say no.

As the day turned to night, Nate was filling up on liquid courage and started getting boisterous to the point of annoyance so I decided it was probably time for me to head home. I liked his friends and family but felt something was a bit off with him and was not impressed at his ability to guzzle beer and pee off the deck. As I was leaving, Nate walked me to my truck and proclaimed he had something important that he HAD to tell me. I advised him that there really was nothing he had to tell me on a first date, especially while under the influence. He was adamant and I knew something big was coming I just didn't know what. Then he blurted it out...

"I just lost my virginity a few months ago and have never really dated and blah, blah, blah..." I blocked out the rest of his sentence. My mind was reeling as I contemplated those first five words. Why would he tell me that? How on earth could he live 32 years without having tried it? What the heck was I supposed to say in return? I said the first thing that came to mind..."Why did you wait so long?"

"I just never got around to it."

Huh? What? Did I hear that right? Are you not a normal man? Or woman? Or human? No religious reasons, no saving oneself, you can't just say you never got around to it. You never get around to seeing Paris in the spring, to seeing the pyramids, to cleaning the garage. Sex is not something you just never get around to doing, is it?

In honor of Nate and any other similarly situated 30-something single souls out there, I have compiled a list of Things To Do Before You're 32 that will surely enhance you're personal life, especially for those chronically single men still sleeping on futons and living off of cereal, milk and vodka:

1. Have sex with someone other than yourself.
2. Live alone for a year.
3. Learn to cook three good meals from scratch.
4. Spend money on a really good bed and some top of the line sheets.
5. Find at least three friends you'll have for life.
6. Get something that's broken and fix it - a car, furniture, toaster.
7. Get a passport and go somewhere you'll have to use it.