I know, I know, I've been neglecting you lately. But I have a good excuse this time...I've been busy packing because, you know, I have to move. And not just move, but CHANGE MY WHOLE FRICKIN' LIFE next week.
Yeah, I say a big, fat Holy Cow to that one too. That's also about when I start thinking, "What the f*** am I doing?"
I think there are about three basic types of self-conscious "WTF?'s" we go through in life. (The others are all just third party "WTF?"s where we're wondering WTF someone else was thinking and those don't really count in this discussion.)
The first is the "WTF?" you feel when, say, you wake up on St. Patrick's Day in the cab of your truck wearing a Santa hat and gardening gloves and wonder "WTF did I do to end up here?" Then you laugh at yourself, curse for not getting some passer-by to take a digital photo of you looking so ridiculous, and make a note to tell your friends what they missed so they can make fun of you for a couple of years. This is the post-stupid-behavior "WTF?" that hopefully leads to reflection and self-awareness.
The second is the kind I think a few of my blogging buddies, Buzz, Melon, and Spotty, are facing these days. This type of "WTF?" is the overthought meaning of life WTF? and it seems to be the plight of every single, career-minded, rut-stuck, above-normal-intelligence-level individual I know. You see, once you've achieved a certain level of success, you are finally comfortable and living like an adult, you've got no boundaries, no rules, no constraints, yet you feel like you should be doing more, better, different...just doing something other than going to work, meeting friends for beers and sushi, and then heading home to watch TV with your cat on your lap or sitting next to the invisible significant other you no longer love while chatting on the phone long distance with your old friends who are now married and envying you for your independence and freedom. Then you go to bed, get up and do the very same thing the next day and in your quiet time you wonder "WTF?". But this "WTF?" is the one that asks why you're not moving at all. This is the "WTF?" I was feeling a few months ago when I decided to sell the house and get moving...literally.
The third is like the "WTF?" I felt when I found myself at age 17 marching around Orlando, Florida in the heat of July, being yelled at by a drill instructor named Drummond who had just told us our sissy arses would all be going to war in a desert in the Middle East, feeling like I'd just made the worst decision of my life. It's the pit-of-your-stomach-venturing-into-into-the-unknown kind of "WTF?" that makes you question why you are where you are and wonder how it will turn out because you're already in the middle of a wild ride and someone else seems to be at the wheel. You can't really change it because the ball is in motion, so you've got to deal with it. That's the "WTF?" I'm feeling this week, as I'm in the middle of leaving my home of eight years, moving away from all my friends, and quitting a decent job to move to a small town where I don't know anyone, have no plans for employment and am told the dating pool consists of 18 single men, three of which are in the closet and 14 of which are absolutely dysfunctional, and one of whom has a poo bag. I don't know where it'll lead, but I know it will be somewhere new.
I guess the point of this post is that life is one big "WTF?" and each of use has to decide which "WTF?" we're most comfortable living with. After all, the minute we cease having "WTF?" moments we're either happy, content, bored, or dead.
MB - I'll say it before you, WTF is up with this post?
Friday, March 24, 2006
Monday, March 20, 2006
Another one for the books...
St. Patrick's Day 2006:
4:00 pm - Arrive at seedy drinking establishment, dressed in 'Everyone Loves an Irish Girl' t-shirt' and green sweatshirt. Have a beer (not green) with friends who have already been there for hours.
4:45 pm - I probably shouldn't, you know the cops are out in full force tonight. Okay, one more - I'll just stay longer.
5:00-7:30 pm - More beer and pizza is delivered. Strategically place "Wee bit o' Irish" sticker on S' pants.
8:16 pm - Woo Hoo!!! Who wants to kiss an Irish girl?!?!?!!!
9:02 pm - Switch to drinking water. Refuse multiple offers from the boys to stay at their houses. Note that several drive home drunk. Call one on his cell phone to tell him he shouldn't be driving. As a matter of fact, he really shouldn't be driving drunk while talking on the phone.
10:12 pm - Head to truck, decide I'm not quite okay to drive but don't want to stay in the bar, look for warm clothing behind the seat. Hunker down.
12:19 pm - Wake up in fetal position on the seat in the cab of truck wearing Santa Hat and gardening gloves, burrowed under corduroy shirt jacket and old sweater. Damn it's cold.
1:06 am - Arrive home.
Note to self: Keep warmer and more fashionable items in truck next year. Better yet, stay home as originally planned.
4:00 pm - Arrive at seedy drinking establishment, dressed in 'Everyone Loves an Irish Girl' t-shirt' and green sweatshirt. Have a beer (not green) with friends who have already been there for hours.
4:45 pm - I probably shouldn't, you know the cops are out in full force tonight. Okay, one more - I'll just stay longer.
5:00-7:30 pm - More beer and pizza is delivered. Strategically place "Wee bit o' Irish" sticker on S' pants.
8:16 pm - Woo Hoo!!! Who wants to kiss an Irish girl?!?!?!!!
9:02 pm - Switch to drinking water. Refuse multiple offers from the boys to stay at their houses. Note that several drive home drunk. Call one on his cell phone to tell him he shouldn't be driving. As a matter of fact, he really shouldn't be driving drunk while talking on the phone.
10:12 pm - Head to truck, decide I'm not quite okay to drive but don't want to stay in the bar, look for warm clothing behind the seat. Hunker down.
12:19 pm - Wake up in fetal position on the seat in the cab of truck wearing Santa Hat and gardening gloves, burrowed under corduroy shirt jacket and old sweater. Damn it's cold.
1:06 am - Arrive home.
Note to self: Keep warmer and more fashionable items in truck next year. Better yet, stay home as originally planned.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Betty Ford Rehab Run XX
Got back into California late Thursday night, went home to exchange bags and grab some lingerie, then headed off to Palm Springs for the 20th Annual Betty Ford Rehab Weekend celebration sponsored by the Orange County Hash House Harriers.
Friday night was spent running around downtown Palm Springs in 47 degree weather with light rain while wearing nothing but a black bra, super-short miniskirt, garter belt, stockings, see-through black robe, and, of course, running shoes. No, I don't have any pictures, nor do I have much recollection of the events of the evening other than having seen way too many men packed into too-small garments. At least the cold weather helped them fit better...
Saturday was the opening ceremony of the event, and about 250 hung over hashers waited anxiously for the arrival of our special guests and the opening entertainment:
Yes, we managed to once again take over an unsuspecting hotel and turn it into a hotbed of debauchery and cross-dressing.
Sure enough, we were soon graced with the presence of none other than a cocktail guzzling Betty Ford herself:
Yes, she has put on a few pounds of late but the booze will do that to a girl. She was serenaded by Palm Springs' own Sonny and Cher:
No, I don't know where they found that much bright orange yarn either, but I sure am impressed with whoever actually knit that thing.
After Sonny and Cher's serenade, something went terribly, terribly wrong during the Village People's performance:
Now let's do a double-take of that graceful dancer in green lycra:
What did you expect? More scenes from Puerto Rico?
Friday night was spent running around downtown Palm Springs in 47 degree weather with light rain while wearing nothing but a black bra, super-short miniskirt, garter belt, stockings, see-through black robe, and, of course, running shoes. No, I don't have any pictures, nor do I have much recollection of the events of the evening other than having seen way too many men packed into too-small garments. At least the cold weather helped them fit better...
Saturday was the opening ceremony of the event, and about 250 hung over hashers waited anxiously for the arrival of our special guests and the opening entertainment:
Yes, we managed to once again take over an unsuspecting hotel and turn it into a hotbed of debauchery and cross-dressing.Sure enough, we were soon graced with the presence of none other than a cocktail guzzling Betty Ford herself:
Yes, she has put on a few pounds of late but the booze will do that to a girl. She was serenaded by Palm Springs' own Sonny and Cher:
No, I don't know where they found that much bright orange yarn either, but I sure am impressed with whoever actually knit that thing.After Sonny and Cher's serenade, something went terribly, terribly wrong during the Village People's performance:
Now let's do a double-take of that graceful dancer in green lycra:
What did you expect? More scenes from Puerto Rico?
Part III - You never know what's around the next bend
I know, I know...You're getting tired of looking at vacation pictures, but these taken in the Carribean National Forest (aka El Yunque) are pretty cool.
This is a typical tree with it's roots exposed due to erosion from the rain. And you know what? It really does rain in the rainforest!
This is La Coca Falls, one of the two easily accessible big falls in the forest. In fact, all you have to do is pull your car over to see it:
There was no swimming hole under La Coca Falls and you know no trip to any self-respecting waterfall is complete without swimming below it and risking life and limb to get behind it, so we headed down La Mina Trail in search of La Mina Falls. Here's a picture of the very well-maintained Forest Service trail to La Mina falls.
I must admit this is the best maintained, least populous National Forest I've ever been to. Too bad when we got to the falls we discovered that everyone else visiting the park that day was already there. And even though that appeared to be less thean 40 people, it kind of makes it less fun. They do look happy, though, don't they?
We decided to forego swimming with the masses at La Mina Falls and decided to hike up to the top of the falls to look down them. To do this we had to go off the trail, down a slope and up the creek a ways. It was well worth it because this is what we found:
Yeah, it was pretty nice. The water was deep, clean and refreshingly cold. Best of all, no other human was in sight - it was just us and the coqui frogs. We hung out there by ourselves for about an hour before a family from New Jersey stumbled upon us and we did the get-your-clothes-back-on-quick-before-you-scare-the-tourists scramble. Note to self: Leave clothing on nearest bank in future.
By the way, if you're ever in Puerto Rico and want to visit El Yunque, note that the Visitor Center, while very nice and clean, is a waste of time and money ($3.50 a person) if all you are interested in is hiking. However, if you want to read about the rainforest and visit a clean bathroom, it is worth it. Otherwise, just keep traveling up the road into the forest until you see other cars, park, and find a trail - it will undoubtedly lead somewhere beautiful. There are also maps along the road and trails are well-marked with informational signs about vegetation and wildlife. Good stuff.
This is a typical tree with it's roots exposed due to erosion from the rain. And you know what? It really does rain in the rainforest!
This is La Coca Falls, one of the two easily accessible big falls in the forest. In fact, all you have to do is pull your car over to see it:
There was no swimming hole under La Coca Falls and you know no trip to any self-respecting waterfall is complete without swimming below it and risking life and limb to get behind it, so we headed down La Mina Trail in search of La Mina Falls. Here's a picture of the very well-maintained Forest Service trail to La Mina falls.
I must admit this is the best maintained, least populous National Forest I've ever been to. Too bad when we got to the falls we discovered that everyone else visiting the park that day was already there. And even though that appeared to be less thean 40 people, it kind of makes it less fun. They do look happy, though, don't they?
We decided to forego swimming with the masses at La Mina Falls and decided to hike up to the top of the falls to look down them. To do this we had to go off the trail, down a slope and up the creek a ways. It was well worth it because this is what we found:
Yeah, it was pretty nice. The water was deep, clean and refreshingly cold. Best of all, no other human was in sight - it was just us and the coqui frogs. We hung out there by ourselves for about an hour before a family from New Jersey stumbled upon us and we did the get-your-clothes-back-on-quick-before-you-scare-the-tourists scramble. Note to self: Leave clothing on nearest bank in future. By the way, if you're ever in Puerto Rico and want to visit El Yunque, note that the Visitor Center, while very nice and clean, is a waste of time and money ($3.50 a person) if all you are interested in is hiking. However, if you want to read about the rainforest and visit a clean bathroom, it is worth it. Otherwise, just keep traveling up the road into the forest until you see other cars, park, and find a trail - it will undoubtedly lead somewhere beautiful. There are also maps along the road and trails are well-marked with informational signs about vegetation and wildlife. Good stuff.
Monday, March 13, 2006
Puerto Rico Part II - A Clean Atlantic and a Dirty Mind
After a few days soaking up laid back island life with the poofters, we headed over to San Juan on the main island of Puerto Rico so JP could tend to business.
San Juan is a pretty big city so we ended up staying at the Condado Beach Resort, which was a standard upscale hotel with excellent views on the beach side. This was the view from our balcony:
And this is a picture of the big, clear, blue Atlantic Ocean taken from the balcony one morning:
I've been swimming in the Atlantic in New England and trust me, it doesn't look like that.
We didn't have time for much other than a stroll around town and some dinner the first night in San Juan but I did notice a few interesting things while we were out walking around looking for a decent beer (Note: Puerto Rico has crappy beer).
While we were walking around admiring the architecture of Old San Juan, I noticed these cool head statues (busts?) someone had on their porch:
Of course, just as I was marveling at the artistic nature of the pleasant little neighborhood we'd stumbled upon I noticed this bit of urban prose nearby and my faith in humanity and all things beautiful was restored:
San Juan is a pretty big city so we ended up staying at the Condado Beach Resort, which was a standard upscale hotel with excellent views on the beach side. This was the view from our balcony:
And this is a picture of the big, clear, blue Atlantic Ocean taken from the balcony one morning:
I've been swimming in the Atlantic in New England and trust me, it doesn't look like that.We didn't have time for much other than a stroll around town and some dinner the first night in San Juan but I did notice a few interesting things while we were out walking around looking for a decent beer (Note: Puerto Rico has crappy beer).
While we were walking around admiring the architecture of Old San Juan, I noticed these cool head statues (busts?) someone had on their porch:
Of course, just as I was marveling at the artistic nature of the pleasant little neighborhood we'd stumbled upon I noticed this bit of urban prose nearby and my faith in humanity and all things beautiful was restored:
One More picture from Vieques...
I almost forgot about this one. It's taken from that private cove we found while exploring. That's the little island hidden under the clouds. I later found out it's called Blue Island and Blue Beach. We did our own scene from the Blue Lagoon...
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Puerto Rico Part 1 - Poofter Palace and Vieques Island
Took the red eye to San Juan last Thursday night. One cool thing about traveling with JP is that he's VIP all the way. Oh yeah, did I mention I went with JP? Come on, you're not that surprised, are you?
Anyhow, he had a conference in San Juan and it was his birthday so he invited me along. So on this trip we had two layovers - one in Miami and one in San Juan. I got to learn about the secret society of the Admiral's Club - one of those VIP rooms at airports that you see businessmen going in and out of all the time. Well, let me tell you, they are quite nice. They have an open bar, free munchies - or should I say hors d'ouvres? Like cheese and crackers and wine and stuff. And there is privacy and clean bathrooms with showers and towels and all the fixings. Makes for a nice way to spend your layover, complete with free beer.
After lounging in the Admiral's Club, we hopped on a puddle jumper over to Vieques Island, the place the Navy used to practice bombing at and that got all the hippies in an uproar a while back. The Navy stopped bombing and donated the land to the Fish & Wildlife so now half the island (21 miles by 4 miles in toto) is a pristine park and one of the last places you can fine unresorted-up white sand beaches in the Carribean.
JP had made all the arrangements and found us a place in Isabela - the largest town on the island. I was expecting some sort of hoity toity resort because that's the kind of guy he is. Instead, he thought of me for once and found a loft above a bar/coffee shop/inn in the heart of town. It's called Hotel Atlantico and is owned by a nice guy named David from Atlanta who met us at the door and carried our bags up the spiral staircase. I noticed a lot of nice looking men in the coffee shop and figured it must just be a hang out for well-groomed American men. We went up to our loft to find an awesome and well-decorated flat, complete with a huge balcony and views of the ocean from every angle. I looked over the front of the balcony and noticed the flags out front - U.S., Puerto Rico...and Rainbow.
I'm no expert at these things but I'm pretty sure the rainbow flag signifies tolerance of all lifestyles. Or that Rainbow Bright lives there.Click here for Wikpedia's definition and a history of the rainbow flag.
Sure enough, when we went downstairs for a beer that night it was indeed a hotbed of muscle shirts and loose swaggers. I got a good laugh out of this because JP is a raging homophobe. We dubbed the place the "Pink Poofter Palace" and had a blast with our new found friends who diplomatically told us they "cater to the dollar first". Definition of poofter.
The coolest thing about the hotel was definitely the dual-headed outdoor shower. There is nothing like taking a shower under the Carribean sun while looking out over the ocean. You should try it sometime.
Anyhow, I highly recommend renting the loft at Hotel Atlantico if ever you are in Vieques and want an awesome place to stay that is both well decorated and friendly to all.
We had rented a Jeep (necessary on the island if you want to go anywhere) and headed to the south side to go see the bioluminescent bays. This consisted of riding in an old school bus down a dark dirt road to a little dock in the middle of the night, then taking an electric boat out on a bay and going swimming with about 40 other people. Bioluminescence is WAY COOL. It's like swimming on acid - without the acid. I mean, I imagine that's what it's like since we know I'd never do anything like that. Anyhow, I couldn't take pictures because you need special equipment to capture glow-in-the-dark.
The bioluminescense is caused by dinoflagellates - tiny fireflies of the ocean - that glow when you stir the water. There is no easy way to describe it so I would suggest going to see it - especially if you have kids who we all know love stuff that glows. And don't bother going if you're not going to swim - some folks on the boat didn't want to mess up their hair. Note to tourists: There will be hair spray long after the dinoflagellates are gone. Anyhow, Puerto Rico has three of the best bioluminescent bays in the world and I would say they'll be dimmed within a decade due to pollution so go soon.
The next day we took the Jeep over to Esperanza - the tourist side of the island - to do some snorkeling. We found a dirt road and followed it to the end where we found ourselves alone (but for the boat that left by afternoon) on this beach:
The water was warm, there was a reef nearby, and clothing was not an option. Yes, that was a nice day.
Later we headed back to town for some food and found ourselves lounging on a dock, listening to a band, watching this sunset:
All in all, Vieques was pretty cool. Between the bioluminescence, having a cove on the Carribean to ourselves, and staying at the Poofter Palace, it was a unique experience. So if you're ever in Puerto Rico, leave the tourist area and hop on a flight or ferry over to Vieques before it gets overrun with Spring Breakers and tourists.
Anyhow, he had a conference in San Juan and it was his birthday so he invited me along. So on this trip we had two layovers - one in Miami and one in San Juan. I got to learn about the secret society of the Admiral's Club - one of those VIP rooms at airports that you see businessmen going in and out of all the time. Well, let me tell you, they are quite nice. They have an open bar, free munchies - or should I say hors d'ouvres? Like cheese and crackers and wine and stuff. And there is privacy and clean bathrooms with showers and towels and all the fixings. Makes for a nice way to spend your layover, complete with free beer.
After lounging in the Admiral's Club, we hopped on a puddle jumper over to Vieques Island, the place the Navy used to practice bombing at and that got all the hippies in an uproar a while back. The Navy stopped bombing and donated the land to the Fish & Wildlife so now half the island (21 miles by 4 miles in toto) is a pristine park and one of the last places you can fine unresorted-up white sand beaches in the Carribean.
JP had made all the arrangements and found us a place in Isabela - the largest town on the island. I was expecting some sort of hoity toity resort because that's the kind of guy he is. Instead, he thought of me for once and found a loft above a bar/coffee shop/inn in the heart of town. It's called Hotel Atlantico and is owned by a nice guy named David from Atlanta who met us at the door and carried our bags up the spiral staircase. I noticed a lot of nice looking men in the coffee shop and figured it must just be a hang out for well-groomed American men. We went up to our loft to find an awesome and well-decorated flat, complete with a huge balcony and views of the ocean from every angle. I looked over the front of the balcony and noticed the flags out front - U.S., Puerto Rico...and Rainbow.
I'm no expert at these things but I'm pretty sure the rainbow flag signifies tolerance of all lifestyles. Or that Rainbow Bright lives there.Click here for Wikpedia's definition and a history of the rainbow flag. Sure enough, when we went downstairs for a beer that night it was indeed a hotbed of muscle shirts and loose swaggers. I got a good laugh out of this because JP is a raging homophobe. We dubbed the place the "Pink Poofter Palace" and had a blast with our new found friends who diplomatically told us they "cater to the dollar first". Definition of poofter.
The coolest thing about the hotel was definitely the dual-headed outdoor shower. There is nothing like taking a shower under the Carribean sun while looking out over the ocean. You should try it sometime.
Anyhow, I highly recommend renting the loft at Hotel Atlantico if ever you are in Vieques and want an awesome place to stay that is both well decorated and friendly to all.We had rented a Jeep (necessary on the island if you want to go anywhere) and headed to the south side to go see the bioluminescent bays. This consisted of riding in an old school bus down a dark dirt road to a little dock in the middle of the night, then taking an electric boat out on a bay and going swimming with about 40 other people. Bioluminescence is WAY COOL. It's like swimming on acid - without the acid. I mean, I imagine that's what it's like since we know I'd never do anything like that. Anyhow, I couldn't take pictures because you need special equipment to capture glow-in-the-dark.
The bioluminescense is caused by dinoflagellates - tiny fireflies of the ocean - that glow when you stir the water. There is no easy way to describe it so I would suggest going to see it - especially if you have kids who we all know love stuff that glows. And don't bother going if you're not going to swim - some folks on the boat didn't want to mess up their hair. Note to tourists: There will be hair spray long after the dinoflagellates are gone. Anyhow, Puerto Rico has three of the best bioluminescent bays in the world and I would say they'll be dimmed within a decade due to pollution so go soon.
The next day we took the Jeep over to Esperanza - the tourist side of the island - to do some snorkeling. We found a dirt road and followed it to the end where we found ourselves alone (but for the boat that left by afternoon) on this beach:
The water was warm, there was a reef nearby, and clothing was not an option. Yes, that was a nice day.Later we headed back to town for some food and found ourselves lounging on a dock, listening to a band, watching this sunset:
All in all, Vieques was pretty cool. Between the bioluminescence, having a cove on the Carribean to ourselves, and staying at the Poofter Palace, it was a unique experience. So if you're ever in Puerto Rico, leave the tourist area and hop on a flight or ferry over to Vieques before it gets overrun with Spring Breakers and tourists.
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