More Proof...

...that I was switched at birth...

Today at lunch I went and paid the $45,000 to get my brother out of foreclosure. Yeah, Merry Christmas Big Brother. I could have used that money on so many things for myself. It stings a bit thinking I'll now be paying on that until the house sells, as well as keeping the first mortgage current at a mere $2300 a month. Good thing my mortgage is only a grand a month and I have no personal debt or car payments. It does, however, mean I'll be strapped with close to $4,000 a month in payments - only a quarter of which are mine. Yes, I am a bit irritated at this but I hope it will be over by summer and my brother will be set up with a place he can afford to live and some inaccessible investments to insure he's not on the You-Too-Can-Live-Off-KC-For-Life-Without-Ever-Working-A-Day Retirement Program.

I returned to my office somewhat relieved that The Great Family Drama of 2004 was quelled before Christmas so everyone can pretend to be happy and act like they are doing well. It could have been worse - at least no one is dead or injured, right?

Oh, what's that? An urgent phone message from my aunt in Idaho? (Yes, my relatives live in Idaho, in trailer parks to boot!) Two messages? In the course of an hour, you say?

I immediately think something has happened to one of my grandparents. They are both living with cancer and in their 80's so any calls from the great north, with that urgency, make me think the worst. But why didn't my mother call me if it was urgent? Hmmm...maybe it's my parents? Insert dread music here. Flash of panic. Then the realization that the world has never actually ceased to exist due to bad news.

I don't like when people die or other bad things happen so I pretend I am too busy to return the calls and decide to wait until tonight to call my aunt back. Then she calls me again. Thankfully, it's not my grandparents - two very good people who spawned a brood of social miscreants. How many times have they wondered where they went wrong? Not my parents either.

Still, my aunt is very upset. M, a cousin, has just been arrested. Police came to her place of work (I am briefly impressed - she has a job? How unlike the northtern sect!). But arrested for what? And with the police coming to her work? Apparantly M has been dating a convicted child molester. Makes me cringe to think about it. Something fishy is going on with M helping him or something like that so the police picked her up. Rightfully so if she is in fact doing so much as breathing the same air as him. If it's true, I hope they keep her for felony stupidity.

The problem is that social services took L, M's 9 month old daughter. No, nobody knows who L's father is. At last count it could be any one of five men. The sixth was ruled out because the baby was too pale to be of that descent. Anyhow, my aunt called a lawyer about L but the lawyer actually wanted $2000 up front (to do what? Fill out a temporary guardianship form? I almost hurl up my law degree when I hear about things like this!). She makes about $8 an hour as a telemarketer. Yet another reason not to drop out of high school, folks. That and senior prom, of course. es, I'll make some calls and see what is going on. After all, that is why I went to law school, right?

First, I call social services. A form? Okay. My aunt can do it herself? Great. Free help filling it out? Excellent. Come down before 4:30 pm and they'll help? My aunt frets about leaving work two hours early to do this - she says maybe she should just get the lawyer. Losing $16 for two hours of her time as opposed to $2000 for the lawyer to do it? Some people just do not think. L should be with my aunt by tonight. Still not sure if that's better than child services but that's another story for another time...

Next, I call the DA in Idaho. It's not looking good. Federal offenses, state offenses. M is in deep. The guy she's been helping was convicted of raping an 11 year old girl. Eleven! I want to drive up there and shoot him myself. M will get a public defender. I want nothing to do with anything related to this one.

Come to think of it, I really don't want anything to do with anyone allegedly related to me.