Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Pride and prejudice among trailer trash

So I've been meaning to blog about this for the past couple of days:Yep, it's a mobile home. An old one at that - see how the siding and roof are metal? That means it's at least 30 years old. I like how the roof facing is curling up. With the winds out here I'm predicting portions of the
aluminum siding and roof will be strewn about my yard by Sunday afternoon. Yes, my yard. You know why? Because Mr. Murphy decided he wasn't done with me yet and had the people who own the little, scrawny, unbuildable lot next door to me haul that abominition in and plunk it right in my view this week.

I know what you're thinking...Glib, arent' you the epitome of trailer trash yourself? Isn't this your first home that didn't arrive behind a Mack truck? Indeed I have not forgotten my roots, er, axles, but I moved to the land of estates and stick homes. I moved up...or so I thought.

Of course, now that I've gone from trailer trash to landed gentry (as W so eloquently put it) I can't have a used mobile home being put in next door. It would ruin the neighborhood! Not to mention my view.

Just to remind you, this was my view (minus van and trailer) the day I moved in. Note that there is no building behind the windmill.

Here is a picture I took Monday:Yep, that's the unsealed monstrosity brought in by my new neighbors.

Seeing as how I'm now a land barroness, a member of the elite, and getting quite used to peace and quiet interrupted only by an errant mew of a kitten or two, I decided there is no room for such trailer trash in my neighborhood. So I went online and found the regulations for mobile homes in Kern County. Then I called my local planner to see if those rotten neighbors had gotten a permit for their behemoth. Turns out they hadn't. And they can't. Apparantly I'm in hoity toity "Estate" zoning and you can't bring in just any trailer. Nope, it has to be less than 10 years old with a snow load roof. The local building folks advised that I should report these unpermitted bringers-in of tin cans on wheels to the county code enforcement. So I did. And it felt good.

Still, they apparantly haven't gotten the notice to remove the nuisance yet because those poor buggers are out there today trying to figure out how to fit the two sides of their trailer together and get the jacks underneath level. They've even staked out a place for their septic tank --- just a few feet from my water well!!! (That's illegal too - for obvious reasons).

I know what you're thinking...How can you, Glib Gal, Queen of the Doublewide, purveyor of all things paneled, connoiseur of aluminum, and friend to faulty wiring, turn on your own kind?

Quite easily, it turns out. And you know what's even worse? Once they get their fine and notice to remove the thing, I plan to go in and make a lowball offer for their measly 2.4 acres thus completing my empire by gaining ownership on every lot on my side of the street. Yes, it is good to be queen, even if it is of the doublewide.

1 comment:

MB said...

You're scaring me Glib. I can understand the need for privacy, especially when someone plops a mobile home on the edge of your lot, but loving the only sound in your neighborhood being the meow of a cat..........